i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
