Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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