he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
third nipple confirmed
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
