How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
