I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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