so that wasnt chicken after all
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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