My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
