Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
