2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Randomize
