Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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