WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
