This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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