She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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