how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
