i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
