I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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