Porn is love you can see.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
