this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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