My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
