quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
