its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
