im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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