I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize