She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
