A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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