Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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