I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I should be sponsored by Trojan
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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