Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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