Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Say something about gay babies.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
