I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
