dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
