he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
