Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
nutella sex= disaster
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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