he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
