i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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