I love black thongs
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
