Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
