I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
