Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
