i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
