His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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