I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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