just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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