tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
