There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
