his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
