fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
