'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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