Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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