JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
