And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
