How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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