im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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