I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
