i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
