he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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