Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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