The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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