you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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