He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
