Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
